coffee makes me have to use the restroom, and there is no bidet here

it's rather difficult for me to find good pants. usually they just fit weird or look weird. pants also do not come in my size all the time, since i am kinda in between the normal sizes. well, a while back, like around christmas or so, i received a gift certificate to express for men. i bought some nice jeans. i liked them a lot, except the waist was a bit bigger than i like, but they didnt have my perfect size, so i got them anyway. well, i liked them so much, and wanted some that actually fit nice, so i bought a pair from ebay and they are my favorite jeans: perfect color and perfect fit. one problem: they have a button fly. i want to know what caused some boor bastard to decide to put a button fly on a pair of men's jeans.

i guess it seems okay to put a button fly on girl's jeans. i dont really know. but it makes it a royal pain in the gluteus maximus to use a urinal. i don't want to come off as being vulgar or something, but a zipper is so much easier to use. why, oh why would any guy prefer a button fly over a zipper fly? it doesn't make sense. and this feature alone keeps my jeans from being the ultimate pair of pants i have ever owned. buttons are just so cumbersome. zippers are quick and easy. just the way i like them.